When I was in my 30's, I decided I wanted to go back to school, and finish my Bachelor in Science degree. I had a good desk job I liked, with the promise of a pension, with health benefits, good vacation, and decent salary. But I wanted to be a wildlife biologist, probably working for the state.
So, working full-time at my regular job, going to college nights, weekends, afternoons (I had a very understanding boss and lots of vacation time accrued), it took me 3 years, but I finished 2 years of school and gained my B.S. degree in Biology/Chemistry.
Of course, I had help from a few scholarships, scant student loans, many extra part-time jobs, keeping the full-time job, etc. along the way. It was difficult to keep my apartment, car, etc. financially while in school, but I did it. I even worked extra to keep my beloved horse. And I could still attend the odd dog obedience trial or show once every couple of months. I had to spend a lot of my savings, but that was okay for what I gained.
It was a trade I agreed to. It was a good life, with promise.
On a whim, before the final semester of undergraduate, I decided to apply to Veterinary Medical school. I had always wanted to be a vet. Entrance competition was 6 applicants per spot, and brutally competitive. I didn't think, at my age and with my scattered schooling, I would win a spot - but I did. A miracle offer I accepted.
I attended my four years at my in-state school. I worked two summers mowing lawns, pet-sitting, teaching riding lessons, working at a corner store. I worked during the school year as a research assistant on top of classes & clinics. I won a few scholarships, bought used books, wore old clothes (jeans & tees) and borrowed when and where I had to. Pretty much the usual for students.
I had two dogs, had no desire to get rid of my "kids", even though it would be far cheaper to live in a dorm (at my age! LOL) so lived off-campus, in a ratty "student housing" apt that reminded me of being 17 and out on my own for the first time. I had to sell my horse, unfortunately, if I wanted to go to vet school - too expensive. I had trained that horse from scratch since I got him when he was 2, and he was 7. I loved that horse. He went to a great home. I cried for weeks.
But it was all worth it, to have the opportunity to pursue my dream. My eyes were wide open.
Even losing my planned future spouse as we grew apart in distance and goals and contact over 7 years while I was in undergrad and vet school. Even that.
Even having to sell accumulated nice furniture & household stuff to move into a small student apartment. Get rid of my nice car for a less expensive used one. Giving up dog shows and obedience trials with my dogs. Selling my horse. Oh, those First World problems, eh? The draining of 100% of my hard-earned savings accounts and premature pension disbursements to pay for school, then borrowing on top of that when those ran out. Having no life at all while in professional school.
It was all worth it. It was a trade I chose for a future I wanted. My eyes were wide open.
I graduated a middle-aged person with about $83,000 in debt from my 4 years of vet school, plus 2 years of undergrad classes. Zero savings left. Pension gone. A barely functioning used car. Little more than a tiny apartment full of older used stuff.
I was starting from financial scratch again, but this time in debt, but no problem! I knew the choice going in. I paid attention to my debt load, my interest rates, etc. I was a hard worker. I got a good job as a vet, and started paying back my loans.
I was starting my dream life.
That was 20 years ago. During those two decades, I got my first job, built and opened my own vet clinic, sold it after 10 years for a small profit, and went from small animal back into equine medicine. I moved to a different state. I changed jobs a couple times. I had a few small periods of unemployment, 8 months at one point, 2 months at another. I moonlighted at the ER to pay down the student loans, like everybody else did.
I didn't buy a house - I was paying anywhere from $200 to $1200 a month in student loans and those came first. I deferred my loans a couple times. I paid interest only when I had to. I paid income-contingent when I had to. I paid a LOT when I was flush, and a little or nothing when I couldn't. The US Dept of Education works with you. I was fully aware of principle and interest accumulating when I couldn't pay the full amount.
What happened to that $83,000?
Well, since graduation, I've paid about $53,000 against that loan. The amount I still owe is $64,000.
Yeah. I don't know that I'm gonna be able to get that paid off before the age of 65. It's certainly a valid debt, I would never dispute that.
But this means I'll never be able to retire until I no longer can work or drop on the job. If I do retire, there is no attenuating this debt - the government can just take every tax refund or Social Security check until it's paid or I die. Then they will ask my relatives for the debt.
The moral of my story?
If I had a do over, I'd never do it again. Not worth it. Life is meant to be lived, and enjoyed in the living. Not beholden to your loan officer. All the things I lost by pursuing this, a spouse (and children?), the friends, the pets, the missed birthdays and celebrations and meals. A house. Financial security. A savings account. All the things I'd earned by my hard Republican work ethic prior to making the decision to trade it all for a dream.
What is worse, I look at the students in my discipline who are 20 years younger, who have that additional 20 years to pay it all back - and they can't do it, either. They are avoiding marriage, buying a house, having children while they work their assess off trying to pay down loan debt.
Shoulda gone into human medicine, is what family and friends say (yes, and enjoy those 5-7 years of intern and resident pay? Yikes!)
Shoulda never done it at all, is what I say. Shoulda been happy with my middling job, a boring future of desk job sameness, healthcare, pension.
Buyer, beware the American Dream. It may ruin your life.
Your actual mileage may vary.
P.S. - I do love my job. I just ... can't afford it.
Tue Jul 29, 2014 at 6:53 PM PT: I am thrilled with all the stories and comments - the comments section is terrific and must-read. So many outstanding suggestions and ideas.
The big picture regarding what direction this country will take regarding this subject is important. Thank goodness for folks like Senator Elizabeth Warren that make it a priority in their public service.
I'm going to add something that I deliberately left out of the original diary - sort of a 'more to the story' , that many others with student-loan debt also share in one way or the other.
Five years ago, I needed a partial knee replacement. I had private health insurance. They approved the operation. Six months after the operation, they rescinded payment. I also am paying off $53,000 in medical debt, in addition to student loans.
This is the story of America in the 21st century. Debt slaves. It's neither pleasant, nor promising for the future of our country. What are we going to do about it?
Tue Jul 29, 2014 at 7:53 PM PT: Please read the comments section - the stories being told are the stories of our modern American life. And it's not pretty. Some take-away regarding Student Loan Debt found below:
2 yrs engineering school - debt too large already, can't afford, quit school.
Borrowed 28,000 Paid 33,000 Still owe 22,000
Borrowed 15,000 Paid for 10 years. Still owe 25,000
Borrowed 150,000 Parents paid 100,000. Still owe 50,000
Borrowed 100,000 Educator working 3 jobs, cannot pay back debt
Graduate school. 13 years later, amount owed finally less than 10,000
Borrowed 65,000 Paid 15 years. Still owe 50,000
Borrowed 16,500. Paid off in 5 years, but have excellent salary.
Borrowed greater than 100,000 for professional school. Living at home age 34.
Borrowed 27,000 to start education. Now owe over 100,000.
Borrowed 39,000. Paid for 20 years. Now still owe 44,000
Borrowed 29,000. Paid back over 33,000 in 15 years. Still owe 22,000